“At the age a woman becomes symptomatic of menopause, her mind and heart become riddled. What the man in her life does with such riddled disposition determines where the relationship turns”
The pride of any woman is her feminine sexuality. In fact, it is power that is exacted knowingly or unknowingly by the female folks. The male folks find much pleasure in such observable feminine sexuality. The female folks also derive self-gratification knowing their sexuality gives such pleasure to the male folks. The so-called feminine power is the amount of sexuality any female can exude with its intended impact on any male in a giving circumstance either for her selfish interest or for a collective good.
At the prime of youth, the feminine sexuality gets enhanced into full adulthood. Feminine sexuality can either make or mar a home depending on where it is turned. The feminine gender that has mastered the art of feminine sexuality has sustained her home. On the other hand, some have mastered the art to ruing a well-built home.
While its undeniable that the feminine gender’s sexuality has so much to be desired by the masculine gender, then comes the period in the life of the feminine gender when all that sexuality starts to wane. The feminine monthly circle is not just about shedding of blood but prove of feminine sexuality for procreation that did not happen within the circle. Feminine sexual urges increase after the monthly period and reduces as the circle moves from that period.
As the feminine advances in age her sexuality starts waning into menopause. Menopause (usually occurs between the ages of 45 to 55, may occur as earlier as ages 30s or 40s, or may not occur until a woman reaches her 60s) cannot be avoided by any feminine gender. Menopause is as certain as a menstrual circle. If a woman does not experience menopause, something is inherently wrong.
Does it really matter if the feminine gender has adequate knowledge about menopause before reaching the age? What impact does menopause have on a marriage? What can a wife experiencing menopause do to keep romance in her marriage? What can a husband do to make a wife feel loved even though menopause is putting a strain on romance in the marriage? These and more are questions that will be answered in this write up.
My wife and I know that like us, some others may have asked enquiringly if there is anything like menopause for men. Yes, there is, and it’s called andropause. However, for male it doesn’t come with as much discomfort as it does females.
KNOWLEDGE AS A THERAPY: How much knowledge will suffice for a woman to be prepared for menopause? Some women take their time to gain knowledge about menopause. Some barely have any knowledge of it. Having knowledge or not having at all, almost every woman become symptomatic of menopause unprepared for what each of the stages (pre-menopause, menopause and, post-menopause) will bring. For women who had had prior knowledge of menopause, they start a mental analysis of their symptoms (hot flashes, painful sex, loss of sleep, etc) vis-à-vis the previous knowledge acquired of menopause. The symptoms and severity vary from woman to woman. Advisable for every woman to acquire knowledge about menopause.
Whether a woman decides to start a therapy or not to manage the symptoms of menopause does not change the natural occurrence of it. Nature most have put menopausal period in place for a reason. It’s like the symptoms a new-born child experiences when teething or when the internal organs are setting for life outside the womb. Medical science has suggested that no form of medication should be giving to a child undergoing such changes. Could that also be true of menopausal period in women?
This write up is not suggesting any therapy but a woman who feels strongly about her menopausal symptoms can see a qualified gynaecologist.
We all know that when you pause a favourite movie, you’re watching on your multi-media device, you can start it up again. Women who have come through menopause can tell with certainty that with menopause, with the passage time, you can’t start up again how excited and confident you were of your sexual drive.
The riddle of menopause is embedded in marriage. How it impacts the thoughts, feelings and, desires (mind) and compelling force to act (heart) of the masculine and feminine genders, engaged over the years in marriage as menopause sets in for the feminine gender in advanced age.
FEMININE MENOPAUSAL RIDDLE: As much as every woman can acquire knowledge of menopause, most yet struggle with accepting the obvious changes on their sexuality. This lack of acceptance could be cultural or social status base. In cultures where feminine pride is in fertility of childbearing, the woman undergoing menopause will struggle mentally to accept this reproductive reversal of her fertility.
Socially, a female exuding feminine sexuality gets attention and recognition. To such female, menopause is simply a knowledge not something she should experience. Some of such females live in self-denial of not coming through menopause. They feel challenged seeing upcoming young beauties coming into the space they once possess.
While there are females who have mastered the generalized symptoms by way of acquired knowledge, but little did, she realize that there will be some symptoms that will be peculiarly hers due to varying body make ups. Such women get disgruntled at the undisclosed symptoms. Initial feeling of I’ve gotten it all under control replaced by fear of the unknown leaves her devastated.
Some of the symptoms women in menopause experience are common to all women while some symptoms are peculiar to the bodily make-up of any woman.
The real cost of menopause is the loss of sexual drive in a woman. Every attempt to arouse a menopausal woman sexually is met with lack of interest like it used to be. For a married woman, this lack of interest to be sexually aroused leaves her concerned for her marriage. Her husband is still sexually aroused as always but, in her case, she can no longer vouch for such sexual feelings.
The feminine gender experiences psychological and emotional discomfort along with physical pains as she gets to sexuality threshold and living through menopause. Following menopause comes post menopause when all the discomforting symptoms fades away for most women, only temporarily. However, in post menopause as a result of several factors that includes lower oestrogen level in women, they are at risk of a few health conditions, such as osteoporosis and heart disease etc.
MASCULINE MENOPAUSAL RIDDLE: The masculine gender will struggle to understand the level of impact menopause has on the feminine gender. A husband may feel the wife is overreacting under the circumstance. Its beneficial every man has adequate understanding of what menopause is all about in the sexual chemistry of a woman.
It’s not uncommon to hear the wife complain of consuming heat amid cold and at another time shivering cold when the temperature is high. The irony of it all is that the extensity of heat or cold cannot be felt on her bare skin. Advisable for husbands to do personal study on menopause to understand what exactly the wife is grappling with.
Such study may help the husband assign honour to the wife. The husband should keep assuring the wife that he understands it’s not her fault she feels withdrawn sexually. Such study and a healthy mental disposition helped me keep romance in our marriage. I don’t intend sharing tips that can help in this write up. Maybe in future write up. Suffice to say that menopause need not take romance away from your marriage if both sexes handle menopausal riddle away from the marriage bed. How do I mean?
MENOPAUSAL RIDDLE AWAY FROM MARRIAGE BED: First of all, there should be genuine love, trust and, integrity in the marriage. If this three is missing, menopause can become the dead end of marital fidelity. Since the wife’s sexual drive has waned off, she might want to deprive her mate sexual pleasure as punishment for ever hurting her. Any married woman that is knowingly or unknowingly inclined this way is unwittingly directing her husband’s sexual desire to another feminine gender whose sexuality is not menopaused.
A married man who fails to relate lovingly with his wife as she goes through menopause will want to justify his acts of infidelity by telling himself that “after all my wife does not satisfy me sexually anymore”. The feminine gender who prides herself with feminine sexuality will always wait for such married men to come around.
Both married mates must understand that nature has brought menopause to bear on their marriage. It should be understood simply as one of the “for better for worse” vow made when getting married. Some husbands have attributed their “midlife crisis” (age 45-64 years for both sexes) to their wife’s reaching menopause as an excuse for marital infidelity.
Mindset of wife: Accept menopause not as an obstacle but as a huddle you will always desire to come over. Do not suffer self-pity or self-denial. Sincerely Express words of commendation to your husband, that you understand and appreciate he is putting up with your condition.
There are times you’re free of menopausal symptoms, why not give your husband a sexual treat.
Mindset of husband: Menopause does not reduce the intellectual capacity of your wife. If she has not been loved for her intellectual capacity now is the time to love her not, simply for sexual gratification. Desiring another woman will be inappropriate at this time because the next woman will sooner or later become symptomatic of menopause.
Do not take away romance for feeling that your wife will be unresponsive romantically. Talk her through the motions from assuring her that you appreciate her concern for you in her symptomatic state to how both of you use to have fun moments in the past. It builds a new kind of romantic attachment the wanes symptoms of menopause to none existence. I will leave the rest to you.
“A healthy mind informs the heart correctly, making it pump beneficial facts in all direction it inclines”.